Be Brave and Be Kind

In the more recent Cinderella movie the emphasis of Cinderellas character is driven by her mothers last words to her: "be brave and be kind". We learn throughout the movie that these two traits are more intermingled than we often consider them to be.  It takes immense bravery to show kindness but it is in showing kindness that we can live. We also observe that Cinderella chose kindness despite it all while her step mother chose self protection which reflected as cruelty and selfishness. I appreciate how it is depicts that she did not set out to be cruel or evil as the fairy tale goes but that she responded to broken heartedness with fear rather than bravery. She was afraid and built a shell of resistance to protect her and her daughters. Many of us don't even realize we have created a insulation for ourselves and certainly would be surprised to be depicted as cruel or evil but we have become fearful of reaching out and providing kindness.

I work with couples that have lost the ability to connect with each other because they are so afraid of being hurt or rejected. Despite our inner yearnings and primal needs to be loved and to connect we insulate ourselves from connection because of fear, which in turn deepens that emptiness due to loss of connectedness. Its a vicious and sad cycle.

There are many threats to kindness and connection in our community, including technology, schedules, fear, anxiety and upbringing. The thing is we all have in us the capability to be brave and to be kind. The willingness to be kind despite ourselves can break us out of the cycle. Dr. David Hamilton does warn us that there are side effects to kindness including a happier disposition, better relationships, slowed aging, and improved all around health. Which is prompting me to start another challenge (you know I can't help myself) For the next 40 days I will be posting random acts of kindness prompts on my facebook page, like the page to receive them daily, I will not be doing weekly summaries here, I would love it if you would share them or let me know what you think or how it went.

If you want to increase connection with others but find that reaching out is too scary, or vulnerable, you may have some things you need to work through. I would be happy to help you work through this, together we can explore new pathways to connectedness and a stronger, braver you. You can contact me here.

In the end (spoiler alert) Cinderella found that the kindest and bravest thing that anyone can do for another is be their true and honest self. I hope that through being brave enough to step out side yourself to show kindness to others, you are able to find, and be proud of, that beauty and strength inside of you.