Forgetfulness, what is normal?
I once had a patient that would ask constantly if her varied bouts with forgetfulness or confusion meant she was “losing it” she greatly feared the beginning of the end. Unfortunately in her case (and I don’t believe she is alone) her obsession with memory loss increased her anxiety to the point that her forgetfulness did increase.
We all at one point or another struggle with mild confusion or forgetfulness. This is often related to stress, lack of sleep, or other physiological or environmental changes. In the example of losing our keys, most of us have a routine, we leave our keys subconsciously in the same place MOST of the time, except for when we don’t, usually when we are distracted by something we toss them somewhere else and they aren’t where we expect them the next time we need them. Eventually we are able to retrace our steps and find them.
As we age our cognitive functioning begins to slow leading to some delay in thought process and increased forgetfulness. As with the rest of our body we slow down and need a bit more help. To answer more extensively my clients consistent question. Here are a few examples of normal vs not normal:
- Normal: Occasionally forgetting plans especially when they are not routine.
- Not Normal: Consistently forgetting appointments or important dates such as birthdays or anniversaries.
- Normal: Not keeping track of a conversation when you are distracted.
- Not Normal: Consistently forgetting recent conversations.
- Normal: Misplacing items you don't use often.
- Not Normal:Forgetting locations of familiar objects such as where the forks are kept.
- Normal: Occasionally forgetting someones name or finding the right word
- Not Normal: Difficulty finding the right word to use several times a day or speaking incoherently.
- Normal: Getting turned around or having difficulty following directions in unfamiliar situation. Not Normal: Getting lost in familiar places, for example on the way to the grocery store.
- Normal: Some difficulty in learning new things.
- Not Normal: Inability to cook a favorite recipe.
- Normal: Getting overwhelmed and having trouble coordinating when there is a lot to do, for example when moving or during a holiday.
- Not Normal: Inability to appropriately routine self care, meals, hygiene and finances.
- Normal: Trying new things.
- Not Normal: Being dangerously less inhibited or drastically different with language, actions or clothing choices.
Notice the key is recognizing when occasional becomes often. We all go off the tracks a bit occasionally but if we are unable to get ourselves back on track there may be a problem. Also if issues begin to threaten safety and well being it is time to seek help. Presence of these symptoms does not always mean dementia, it is not uncommon for some thought disturbance to be related to other physiological issues that can be treated. It is also important if there are signs of dementia that you or your loved one begin treatment as soon as possible for the best possible outcome.
The good news is that there is a lot that we can do even after a diagnosis to care for our brain. See my brain building blog 1,2,3,4. Living a life with healthy social connection, exercise, healthy eating, curiosity about the world around and hope makes our brain more strong and resilient even in the face of disease. If I could be of assistance in helping you and your family navigate challenges arising from memory loss please contact me. Here are also just a few fantastic resources in our area:
Keep caring from your brain and brains of those you love.