Embracing Opportunity

In one of my first “professional” jobs at a hospital I had a boss who would infuriate me. I would come to him whining about problems and injustices, throwing them before him like a moody adolescent challenging him to fix it. He would take a deep breath, pause and then ask “what are the opportunities here?” (I swear there was a hint of enthusiasm in his smile like we were choosing a ice cream flavor).   “Are you kidding me?” I would think - fire them or get angry or tell them they are wrong and I’m right...

Over time I got used to this approach and began to appreciate it. This process of looking past the problems and relabeling them as opportunities gave me a new way of gaining control over situations that seemed hopeless. It got to the point where I too got enthusiastic when challenges presented themselves and yes, as my career advanced I used the same techniques, infuriating many others and challenging them to grow in much the same way. I am grateful to my former boss and think of him every time I ask about opportunities and am met with a resistive snarl.

Its true that change, challenges, tragedies and injustices can be awful, hard, horrible and there is nothing wrong with wanting them to poof out of sight so that we can avoid going through them. When my kids were little one of our favorite books was we’re going on a bear hunt by Micheal Rosen and Helen Oxbury the family goes on a bear hunt and they are presented with all kinds of challenges like swamps, snow storms and spooky forests and we’d sing “we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we’ll just have to go through it. - swishy swoshy, swishy swoshy..”  While I was never quite sure why it was a good idea for a young family to go on a bear hunt I appreciated their tenacity and willingness to go through each challenge together, come what may. They didn’t look at the murky swamp, consider the potential dangers and turn back, they said lets do this and have a good time while we do it. its a beautiful day and by golly we are going to find a bear.  Many times in my own life I have looked at the road ahead and thought I don’t have it in me to go through this - there has to be another way.  When I have faced the challenges I do come through it stronger like the old saying goes but I’m not unscathed. Changes and challenges can hurt and scar us, growth comes at an emotional cost however, there are also amazing, often unexpected gains and inexplicable beauty on the other side.

Kelly McGonigal in her book the upside of stress as well as in her TED talk addresses how simply changing our mind set towards stressors can have a actual chemical impact on us. She found in study after study that when we view our challenges as opportunities and accept our natural physical/chemical response to stress as a asset, our body rising up to help us, our chemical response is actually healthier as opposed to focusing on the previous negative “killer” views of stress. People who view stress (challenges) as a positive (opportunities) in their life actually live longer, have better relationships and accomplish more. We have choices, all of us, in how we respond to stressful challenges and who we want to become in the face of them.

So   -   What are your opportunities?